HA 5a: Violation

HIM AGAIN: Chapter 5: No More: Violation


Minerva looked down at the child nestled in her arms and smiled. Despite this, the smooth pink body shuddered and she saw the sapphire eyes become shiny with tears. I must look awful, she thought distantly. Gently, she stroked one flawless cheek with a finger. Something ached dully inside her chest.

Once, she’d wanted to hold her own child and feel a vulnerable warmth that was half hers. She’d wanted it ever so much - had dreamed of it since her first crush and had still nursed the desire past the period in which it would have been possible. Lost children danced in the corners of her mind - children which were never created. It was both wonderful and terrible to hold the baby of a successful younger generation.

Weak fingers clutched at the material of her cloak. Her lips curved again and she snuggled the baby closer. It was then that she noticed that tears were wending their ways down the infant cheeks - but that no sound was emerging. The child was just staring up at her with vast pupils and a blank face, crying.

Her smile faded. Tears and silence were what she feared most.

Ginny made a small sound of maternal anxiety and extended her arms for her son. Minerva handed the baby over - and remembered its name - Brian. As Ginny tried to comfort him, she couldn’t help but say it aloud. The shock of it, and how it had caught her so unguarded, were impossible to quell.

“Brian,” she said, in a slightly hoarse voice. She gazed at Harry, hiding her trembling hands in her pockets.

The emerald eyes met hers. There was such a piercing intensity to Harry’s stare that she was suddenly afraid that he would somehow see and know everything about her - and then it would be impossible to continue being stern Professor McGonagall. She dismissed the thought when she remembered that Harry had never been a Leglimens, but it was still enough to make her uncomfortable.

“Brian,” said Harry, nodding slightly.

Something significant passed through the air between them. Minerva kept her face carefully inscrutable. Quite abruptly, she found herself imagining the expression on His face if He was still there to realise whom Harry had called the young Potter after. She forced away the image; there was no sense in aggravating the rush of emotion that had occurred when she’d made the connection.

“I don’t know what’s the matter with him…” muttered Ginny quietly, worriedly. Minerva saw her share a glance with her husband.

Puzzled and vaguely curious, the Headmistress looked more closely at Harry. She had never found Harry’s face very easy to read - to her, the emerald eyes were the only features that betrayed any real emotion - which was strange; many of her colleagues had always acted as though the boy - and now a man - was the most transparent person on the planet. Indeed, she could quite clearly recall Severus sneering in the staff room at the ‘Potter brat’s inability to quell or conceal the most basic of-’

Again, her mind had hit one of the walls inside her head. Things seemed to be getting worse; she had violated her thoughts twice now in one afternoon… It was too late; a small flame of anger had clenched one of her fists inside one of the pockets of her robes. She forced herself back to Harry - whose worry was just detectable by the very minute tightening of his lips…

“How many sugars do you take in your tea, Professor?” Harry was suddenly asking politely, and the moment had passed.

“None, but thank you,” she replied and Harry made a face.

She took the warm cup and sat down on the nearest sofa, and tried to ignore the large eyes that were gazing at her intently from Ginny’s arms. Minerva focussed on the tea and attempted to concentrate on the irrefutable present.